We are so inner judging...judging on how what being said or done can possibly look to outside observers...writing an actors part on a the go or inprov....worried about appearance sake considering the various input from multiple sources of personalities....

We often have cross judgements on the things we write, post, say, do....that we negate said items.

In a way....we often disapprove the words or actions of our Others so much that we are stumped and do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. We are dis-harmonious, much like how the media portrays America....but this is for real.

We are afraid of offending one another and drawing negative attention to ourselves because its a stressor that we can't deal with. Our inner world is seldom at peace...too many parts, positions, beliefs, opinions, emotions, views....taking a deep breath is seldom satisfying.

Often setting out to self-expression, doings or goals are met with waves of inner doubt, fear....resistance...that when writing our paper stays creatively blank. Here, I'm just reporting the facts is why too I can write this. Any form of opinion would be met with great judgement and resistance even though telling on ourselves is not approved by the shadow ones.

So, we are always held in queue...as always....unable to do anything....even though we want...there is 10 times the more not want. We stagnante.

This judgyness do cross over into the outer world, but we try to inner verbally stop and rebuke it once aware and noticed, always telling ourselves to quit judging people by how they look or behave....out of jealousy actually.

That is it....jealousy. The way people dress wishing that they could do the same, especially the female alters...their desires turned to anguish and disgust is well felt. Littles feel denied, and the males are shocked and emgarrassed to disgusted of such thoughts....we are a walking contradiction.

Jealous of happy people, successful people, ultimately... jealous of singletons.

This brings us to embarrassment. Because of our inner diversity, our level of embarrassment is a constant that swells in waves but to never quite dissipate...so much that we are constantly innerjudging and reacting over whats said, body did,....and yes, even thoughts!

When there is "want to"", there is often opposition based on fears AND disapproving.

So ultimately, we do nothing, say nothing, write nothing, because we fear of being judged by our own words, ways, actions, thoughts, ideas, appearance, expressions...from inside and outside worlds.

We are the worst of what we hate....hence our great contradiction.