GC -- I would be quite jealous too if any T I rather liked did this sort of stuff.

I would absolutely love it if I didn't ever have to hear about any other client or see any other client -- one of the Ts (a psychoanalyst) I recently checked out had a separate entry and exit door and just that fact really really really made me consider switching to her.

With current T, I have had fits of rage when I saw that she was -- in specific, visible ways -- doing stuff for other clients that she'd explicitly (and in some cases, subtly) refused to do for me. Not so much out of jealousy (or I may be deluding myself) but rather that I felt like she was treating me as less than her other clients somehow / wasn't taking me seriously.

After much argument and back-and-forth (over many months), she blurted out that the client I'd noticed her offering all this extra stuff to was in serious danger of offing herself i.e., had made plans and so on -- I felt like a class-A jerk when I heard that but in other ways as well, I couldn't deal with that information when she told me. In a very mature way, I cancelled sessions (and saw other Ts).

But, even when I went back to current T, we haven't actually been able to talk about it in any real way -- I tried telling her (without going into much detail because I felt like an arsehole for bringing it up) that I was having a hard time seeing how she's super available to this other client (or possibly multiple other clients who I don't know about). And how somehow, I don't know how to continue to show up for therapy and not feel really weird and like I'm somehow now looking in at very intimate stuff that she shares with other people and what does that mean for her relationship with me blah blah (cue neurotic 2-year-old message).

It may be because I told her about it right before her vacation but she hasn't brought it up since and she was distinctly uncomfortable when I told her about it -- like she just didn't want to hear how her disclosure about the other client made me feel.

However, the end result of all these conflicts seems to be that she's now bending over backwards and offering me all sorts of stuff that I hadn't even asked for (and didn't care about really) along with the stuff that I was actually het up about.

I guess I don't really have anything useful to say -- this stuff is awkward and painful and weird. I hope Kashi turns out to be better at talking about it all than current T is (in which case, I will consider giving current T my 3,478,947th pointer on how she can be a better therapist......for me).