Hi everyone,

I'm Johnny, and I was diagnosed as Bipolar Type 1 in late September of 2007. I hope to find encouragement & support here, and someday to pass those things on to other newcomers...but right now I'm asking for help. It is so hard for me to accept this diagnosis, but I know it's true. At the same time, its absolutely horrifying when I think about it because I look back and it's as if my life was screaming out "HEY! You're Bipolar! You need help!" all the time, but I nor anyone else figured it out. Bipolar disorder ran my life for 46 years. I am sorry if I sound like a whiner, but I'm scared because I have a brain I can't trust. I screamed at my wife for 4 years. Then I was diagnosed. Now, I cry like a baby and beg her to forgive me. The thing is, she forgave me long ago...it's just so hard to deal with the emotional pain I put her through.

Every time I read to learn about bipolar disorder it gets hard to breathe and I want to cry...and I often do.

I'm overwhelmed, plain and simple.

My thoughts are pretty scattered but I want you to know I'm glad I found this forum and I look forward to getting to know you.

Johnny :-)