Wow, all of that sounds really tough.

To be honest - just speaking from my own experience- I think the most important thing is safety and stability. , and that usually comes from finding a job that you are able to do and enjoy, and then a safe place to live. Then try to make friends as much as possible. Then at that point it's good time to think of therapy.

I don't know if it's true for everyone but that was my experience. I think basic safety is paramount when you are leaving a long term abusive situation (which is unfortunately how yours sounds with your mother, as you have described it). And basic safety for me means a home and a predictable income. Then once that is in place, it's easier and you are secure to start to address everything else.

I grew up in a very abusive home, and I didn't start to address the long term problems this caused by going to therapy until my early thirties. In university (college) I focussed on getting my degree, and on simply surviving from one week to the next, and the same when I left and got my first job. I don't think I would have been able to address my issues very much earlier, because sheer survival was key for such a long time. I needed stability and security and it took quite a long time to create that for myself.