Yes, hugs to us night owls!

confused, do you have a lawyer yet? You really need to get one or you are going to get screwed. Please get one right away for your own protection. Once your husband files papers, you and your lawyer will need to respond within a certain number of days, so it is better to have the lawyer lined up beforehand. I know it's so hard to do this in the middle of feeling such pain over being abandoned and feeling you were never loved (believe me, I am right there with you), but you have to. Don't give up.

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I don't want to hurt my kids, put them in the middle of a custody battle

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Then don't put your kids in the middle of a battle. Reach an agreement with your husband that you will share custody. He gets them for so many days a week and you get them for so many days a week. You can split it 50/50 or however you and your H determine is best for your kids. My H and I are separated and split time with the kids about 60/40. Your lawyers can help you make this custody agreement. Just because you are splitting up doesn't mean you have to fight over your kids and make them objects in a battle. You and your H can make your kids a priority and reach a peaceful agreement.

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I don't want to or know how to be on my own

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Yes, it can be scary to be on your own after many years in a marriage. As part of your settlement, you can include spousal maintenance for a few years (aka alimony) until you can get on your own two feet and support yourself. Your settlement could also include additional funds for you to go back to school to get more training to enable you to get a better job. Settlements can be creative. You need to tell them what you need so it can be considered. Your lawyer will help.

Please go out and find a lawyer immediately!

(((((hugs)))))