Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
I really get this. I am aversive to any kind of touch because of the shame it evokes (old stuff that replays--am working on that in therapy). What that receptionist did was make a joke that can have sexual overtones in another context. It was a foolish thing for her to say, and it triggered a shame response. And it was, in my opinion invasive. It's actually maybe a good thing to talk about to your therapist for that reason--not so much to complain about the receptionist, but to talk about how the comment felt.
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Thank you, I have been trying to figure out what made me feel bad. Like you said, it was more about her comment having sexual implications in other contexts- more than me feeling scrutinized. I think that's it, right there. I think it was a PTSD response.
I agree, it's not about complaining about the receptionist. She didn't mean any harm. It was an odd, confusing experience....odd, immediate unsafe feelings... I will talk to T about it.
T wrote back that, yes, she noticed the moment was uncomfortable for me. She said I handled the moment well, no one in the waiting room reacted.
T also agreed the receptionist didn't mean to make me feel uncomfortable. It was an 'ill-timed' comment. She said she doesn't want the hug, itself, to feel uncomfortable. 'It shouldn't happen if it does.'
'I truly hope you know that you are safe at the office. That is very very important.'
We'll talk more about it when I see her next.
I feel better, thanks for all the responses. They helped me work out in my mind why I felt and acted like that.