I have been seeing my therapist for 3 years and it is the first time I feel like I have actually gotten somewhere with therapy. I knew I had depression, but we also discovered that I have ADD, anxiety, and PTSD. This is the only office within an hour drive that offers EMDR and it has helped me a lot. Both of my kids saw therapists in the office to deal with the death of their father (one recently stopped going due to resistance to therapy and we discharged amicably). My husband started going a few months ago and it has been really good for him.

In January they changed their no show policy. I was stupid and did not read it thoroughly. They have always charged a $100 no show fee. I have always paid it when we haven't shown up (sometimes due to my forgetfulness caused by ADD and anxiety and sometimes because I can't bring myself to leave the house or pick up the phone to call). The new policy states that individuals will be terminated after 2 no shows and families with a total of 3 will be terminated. I had 2 for me and 2 for my daughter. My husband has never had even one. And, like I said, we have paid the fee every time. I never got a warning letter because my therapist said she knew it would upset me. Last week I was told that office policy mandates that we are all terminated and we get 4 more sessions to help us through the transition.

One of my major issues is guilt. It will throw me into a tailspin of depression so I am struggling right now because I caused this to happen to the rest of my family. I haven't left the house in 4 days and have been unable to concentrate on anything because I just keep trying to figure out how to fix it. I started thinking about taking a handful of meds the night it happened, which I haven't thought about in years. And now I feel like I can't call the office if it gets worse because it will seem like I am trying to make them feel bad for this.

I know my husband will not go to another therapist again. I don't know if I will find one that will work and I know I can't find one close by to do EMDR (and we were about to start another round).
I can't stop obsessing and I don't know what to do.