I am in the midst of a major depressive episode that started at the end of 2015. I've been through several depressive episodes since I was a teen (I'm now 26), and each time I thought I had hit rock bottom and that it could not get worse than that. But, with each new depressive episode, I'm proven wrong.

I was admitted to a psych ward last October for my depression, as well as suicidal ideations. It was... helpful while I was IN the hospital, but I am still pretty much in the same exact place now as when I was admitted almost a year ago. I constantly think about suicide, but so far have not made any actual plans or attempted suicide.

Since most days I don't have the will to get up and do anything, my muscles have deteriorated to the point of it being a really big problem. This makes it sooo difficult because when I do finally have a "good" day and feel ok to get up and leave my apartment, I am very limited in what I can do because I just don't have the muscle strength or endurance.

Both my depression and social anxiety have lead to me having very few real friends that I can count on. I honestly don't think I really have anyone, except for my husband. I feel so alone and isolated, and wish I at least had SOMEONE other than my husband I could feel comfortable hanging out with, or even just chatting with online.

I don't even really know what I'm here looking for... I guess maybe a pen pal? And some suggestions on making/keeping friends in-person while stuck in the deep abyss of depression so that I at least don't feel utterly alone.

This depressive episode has been going on for so long that I am at the point of just needing ANYTHING to help at least a little bit, so I can begin to start digging myself out.