Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul
im not telling them everything about my drug use right now, since i started again i got tired of hearing the same stuff over and over and everyone blaming it on the surface
i guess thats part of why i got worse and dropped boundaries and started using harder drugs even
soon i'll talk to them about the truth though, i just dont feel like it right now because feel like im going to hear the same speech... but its like no one cares why i get high or that i get high for a reason, everyone just thinks that getting high is the problem and that im not getting high because of problems...
i might have holes in my brain or something by now..
so i know there are problems with getting high, its just that i've got problems even without being high or the addictions...
i know my addictions and having dual diagnosis complicates it but i can't help it.. its really hard and i just try to cope the best way i can to survive in a dark world
im trying to stay away from heroin which i end up using something else so that i dont use heroin because heroin will numb it all and make me fall into a place where i can just be... i am an occasional user on all the hard drugs and i want to keep it that way but im worried about it...
dont want to become physically dependent...
im afraid if i talk to the clinic about the drugs they will get mad and stop seeing me or something.. or it will make my treatment even worse...
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rarely do your posts surprise me but this one did. you stay away from heroin but you do meth. maybe you dont know this but heroin is the same thing as meth, its just been "refined" which means the impurities and bad stuff has been removed from it. it is usually the drug of choice when a drug user reaches the point where they can not help doing drugs kind of thing. the craving is so strong that the drug addict cant over come the urges and compulsions to use drugs. since you havent reached this point where you do heroin that tells me you can control your self you can still choose to do drugs or not.
you see in the drug world there is a certain progression, kind of like a person who starts out using tylenol (acetaminophen) long term for pain eventually the body builds up whats called tolerance where Tylenol no longer works and they need prescription strength pain relievers in a small dosage and then as the tolerance and dependency builds up they need more and more stronger until they cant help but need to keep going stronger and stronger.
my point is heroin is the step in the progression where drug addicts can no longer help it that they need the drugs. usually when someone is doing meth they are also doing heroin if they believe they can not stop doing drugs. heroin is just refined meth. its more pure.
usually when a person reaches the "cant help it" stage they have no control over what drugs they will and wont do. so I am very surprised you say you cant help it but yet you have the control to not do heroin which actually shows you can help it.. just something to do some reality testing about which may help you to get out of the drug scene. when you have these negative thoughts of I cant stop doing it, look for areas and statements where it counters that by showing you that you have more control then you may think.