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well, the problem here is that to have that kind of discussion she has to fess up and take responsibility for her lies. She won't and hasn't done that. All she's done is continue to say she's never lied to me and that she's innocent of everything, that i'm the one who is in the wrong, not her.
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It sounds like it was difficult for her, but she did eventually acknowledge that she grabbed the phone. And it sounds like there was a productive discussion, that make her think. It sounds like she did not out-and-out reject what you had to say.
absolutely correct and it's what i hopefully will do if i think she's lied again. right now, there's no way for me to know exactly what she's up to, if anything. until december, we're living 3000 miles apart. so, if i continue to see her, i'm going to have to put my suspicions on the back burner until i'm once again a part of her daily orbit.
That definitely is a long ways and a long time.
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such wise words, and I thank you for them. in the future, i will try to be more dispassionate when thinking about this and try not to get so emotional about it. at the moment, i can't answer either of those questions, but as i move forward, i hope to keep both of them in the forefront of my brain and perhaps the answer will come to me sooner rather than later.
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What you said about being dispassionate is really important in my view. When you feel the anger or other negative feelings rising, my advice is to set the matter aside until the passions and more calm. Take a cold shower if you need to! Setting the passions aside may well be a challenging task, but very important in my view. Do all you can to avoid thinking, speaking, or acting with regard to her when you are in the throes of some negative passion(s).
I could be wrong, but i don't see you realizing what to do on a single day where you have a sudden epiphany. I think it will be a gradual shift in your thinking over time, a gradual growth of clarity. In time, you will, I believe, find your way.
Thank you so much for your very kind words!