Quote:
Originally Posted by Calilady;5785849
.After hearing her VM today, I was so upset that I nearly emailed asked her for a termination session. She didn't offer this to me in the nearly two minute long message and in my logical mind, I wouldn't want one anyway because I don't trust her, do not feel safe, and I would believe she would be disingenuous- wearing a mask of sorts- but she did say I could call her to talk about it, which is what she would like (she said).
It hurts to know she's still clinging on to this...skirting of the truth. In regards to her cancellation (and she saying she had to leave out-of-town), I saw her the very next morning walking into a restaurant only two hours before our session[I
and[/I] the following day- she and her boyfriend were golfing. I know what I feel and if I distrust her this much, it means I've already shutdown in many aspects.
|
It is unfathomable an adult would use the same "my grandmother died" lie that high school kids try out when they didn't do their English paper or bio lab. That your therapist did that to her own longterm patient is so unethical and hurtful I don't see what you could do with the knowledge but end the relationship.
This might be a controversial view, but I don't believe that many therapists believe they owe patients any literal truth about their lives, and I am not really sure what I think, if they do or not intellectually. They do give the metaphorical truth about who they are by the stances and perceptions they share with us about ourselves, but they are often really paranoid about intrusions into personal details to the point they have really no problem telling flat-out literal lies. I have trust in who my therapist is at the core, but I am well aware he has lied by omission and lied effortlessly about facts several times. It creates a very weird experience from my chair, in which a larger trust battles with this sense of being manipulated ( for my own good??).
I could see if maybe , as an alternative theory, your therapist had a huge fight with her boyfriend about working too many hours, about if she cared more about her patients than him or something. It might not be about you being too much, or about the texture of your sessions, but could be about her and the boyfriend or whatever. The fact though is that in that case, she wouldn't see a problem with feeding you a lie, since the lie was about her and not mirroring yourself back to you. I hope that makes sense.
If she lied to you in order to avoid you, she is the worst therapist ever. I rather suspect she lied to you and got busted, bc of some other reason in her life about her, and now she is cornered.
There is a Vietnam writer named Tim O'Brien who plays around with the idea of the Story Truth versus the Happening Truth( the facts), and how creating a frame for the story to feel true to the reader is more important than telling the truth. I believe many therapists, especially those trained to establish and maintain a one-way frame, even if softened with some personal disclosure, feel perfectly justified in doing the same- they don't feel they owe clients any truth factually about who they are and what they do or why.