Well, then it's not so much the therapist that you miss, but other things that existed more in your fantasy?

Also, it sounds like whatever happened with/around her, it did trigger your attachment difficulties? It's so sad that this happens in many therapies and then the Ts don't know how to deal with it, or make it even more destructive. I hope you will find someone who will be more responsible/helpful. Or perhaps just try to work on the attachment stuff in everyday reality, with good friends that you trust and you could talk with them about these things directly?