This is what depression is. It tells you these awful things and really it is not your fault. Friends often don't understand or they just don't know what to say. Check with your mental health team if there is an adjustment needed in medication and talk with your therapist. Use your coping strategies, it sounds to me like you are really trying. It's not you, it's the depression talking.
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein