Sarah, based on your thread title and the fact you have not really found much relief or help in therapy, I just wonder why you continue spending more time and money on therapy and therapists? It almost seems like it's an escape for you from starting to deal with those real life things that bother you most and Ts just remind you of them.

Many people get to really big life (including career) changes at middle age or even older. Go back to school, learn something completely new, get degrees... Have you thought of anything like that? Just make one goal and focus on one area of your life that you want to see improved for a while instead of hoping for something big and general?