I was quite removed in session today like I was a step back from myself. T told me we only have one or two more sessions left before termination. We talked about my fathers family. There is so much abuse in my family on every side and at every level. Sometimes it feels like everybody abused everybody. T was tearful about something but I don't know what. I wish I could remember more of my sessions.
At one point an internal part was very upset and was screaming out an abusers name but I don't accept that abuse happened. I don't even want to open that can of... velociraptors! T talked about some different abuse mentioned another time but I told her that was nothing. Because it was nothing. It was nothing but a drop in a very vast and lethal ocean. She seems to think it was important but it was so insignificant in the scheme of things. She has no idea.
Nor will she ever I suppose. Next session may be our last.