I am sorry you feel hurt and tricked. I bet she didn't want this outcome for your communications either. It is quite possible that she heard you much more than she was able to convey in her response at the time.
I can see that this is part of your work together. She repeatedly fails you on this point (extra communication) but it seems like overall you find your way back to each other and resolve the issues. So the trust in her is there overall even though she still doesn't meet your expectations in holiday emails.
I dunno, keep working this seems like such important work.