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Originally Posted by SarahSweden
Thanks. Yes, at least my latest therapy was that way, with the T that said she thinks I have "an a n a l and in need of a s h i t" behavior. . . .
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Sounds as if she might have been thinking about what they call over here "a n a l retentive", which is based on an old Freudian idea? Not sure that helped any of those old psychoanalysts help anybody. I think it's related to the current DSM diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, which I think I may have qualified for before I broke down after my late husband died. There is no recognized, effective therapy for that, I have definitely looked. Treating the underlying trauma that may or sometimes gives rise to that kind of adaptation is something that might work "in theory". But I have found that, in practice, it's extremely hard to find. And I don't know that anybody in the profession is looking into the effect that therapy relationships which are "inherently empty, pointless, and degrading" can have to exacerbate things.
Nevertheless, since your therapy is provided by your government, I don't see any harm in trying it -- since you already are aware of some of the potential pitfalls. Who knows? Or -- some folks here have suggested alternatives, maybe those would be better to spend your time and energy on? From my personal experience, though, an OCPD orientation toward life, though sometimes effective at "getting things done" when there is a clear way to to do things does not in general lead to much happiness or fulfillment.
My "defenses" broke down and I was left in a terrible state. If I had had a supportive family or other social environment -- but I didn't. All that's available currently is "therapy", which may not help and sometimes makes things worse. And it's not going to get better unless and until there are people who persist and eventually make it and sound rational and reasonable enough to make a point and overcome massive institutional inertia.
So, working toward that goal is something that seems to me worth doing currently, whether I achieve any measurable success at it or not. I don't know if that will resonate with you or not. Just an idea.