Aw, peaches, this sounds so distressing. I don't know if this is going to be a useful perspective for you,, but I have a lot of outside contact with my t. I have found that using the phone is super-helpful if I need support. Emails I use more if I just want to report something, because I don't find a response by email helps me feel connected or supported enough to be helpful. But with a phone call I can hear his concern and support in a way that leaves me feeling connected and better able to move forward with whatever I decide my next steps need to be. Do you think you might be up for experimenting a bit more with phone calls instead of email and see how that works out next time?