im just really confused
i just feel really confused
i have been really confused all of my life, going through everything i have been through

im sick of it

i just want to feel alive and part of the world like a normal person seems to be

i can take an upper and connect with others
or take a downer and disconnect more so i dont feel or think about it..

being sober leaves me open to attack from the inside...

urgh...

its just getting worse because now i just want to turn it off the easy way... im tired.. and sick of it all... and my brain is also agreeing and just craving the things that can make it all go away... if only for a moment...

i don't know what has happen to me.. but my life is really confusing right now as i dont know who i am and am playing many different roles... i dont even know what are my true feelings or thoughts, i dont feel connected to the body or world and am distanced from everyone

i just try not to think about it and ignore everything and make it all go away because i cant handle anymore..