Hi, Helpme, welcome to PsychCentral (PC). Looks like to me that working on getting out and a life of your own might help you a little with its different focus.

My husband has a nephew that was at a special school like your son's wilderness camp and he is still fine a couple years later (now 20 with job, friends, etc., we're going to be visiting them tomorrow). My husband has three sons and I remember some of the difficulties raising and helping them become men. The one with the "worst" problems is now the one doing best. They are in their 30's and 40's and have family of their own.

I would concentrate on you and getting you and your daughter into a life for the two of you. I think getting a job and persuing some interests of your own that have been stiffled in the marriage might take away some of the stress on the relationship and help give both you and your husband a different view. A lot of stresses can come from being too "close" to problems to get a good perspective so we get stuck in the same ruts.