I don't know what its like to be in love with someone. I don't know what it feels like to have someone being in love with me. I've never been in a romantic or serious true love before, ever. I'm 43. I must be pretty ugly then. Or just cold blooded. Why can some people go through life never been loved by someone?

It isn't just romantic love that is so alien to me. I'm not loved as a person either. No one cares about me. My relatives don't like me and have cut me out of their lives so long ago. Only my 10 year old loves me. That's all the love I know and have.

I'm not human. I can't be. I must be the living dead.