I don't think it is alien to you, nor are you the living dead.

I have often felt like I don't belong in this world; that no one will ever understand me or care about me or like me. The only thing that I can figure out about it is that it must be walls, boundaries and/or distance created by healing of my emotional wounds. It is emotional scar tissue. The scar tissue created by the healing of emotional wounds. The worst part for me is that I have worked for decades getting around the scar tissue involving how I feel about myself. I never know if I am hurting or healing myself because of it.

I hope this helps.