Wow Johnny, it sounds like the diagnosis led you to apologize to your wife and beg forgiveness....it sounds like the diagnosis did something GOOD, no? And she forgives you- wow- not everyone does!! And crying gets it all out, no? I'm sure we will know you here for many years to come....there are good things about bipolar like creativity and communities like this..it IS real scary at first....for me, I found out I was while I was in the hospital- so I KNEW it was true 'cause there I was, in the hospital... you probably had some hints along the way. You are reaching out here- and that's healthy- you're making the most out of something bad you flipped it around!! WELCOME love junerain