
Aug 23, 2017, 04:58 PM
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Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,099
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve
How do I cope with the guilt of my now ex fiance being homeless when I know I am not responsible, nor is it my fault that he is homeless? I brought him here to my state to live with me to save him from homelessness initially (he was kicked out of his home), it did not work out between us (all went bad), so I left him after four months of him not working and me supporting both of us (not what I expected -- I expected he would get a job). He got a job after I left, but ruined it somehow and ended up hospitalized... now he is on the streets and living part time in a homeless shelter. I know that this is all his own doing and all his own fault. He was kicked out of his home for a reason, and I left him for good reasons, too. But I am going out with my friends tonight in the town right next door, but how can I possibly forget about him and even have fun when I know he is totally alone, scared and just trying to survive? I don't know how to cope with this at all. I have a big heart and just feel so badly and so guilty, even though perhaps he needs a kick in the butt to get his act together. I'm the one who convinced him to come here to be with me afterall, and now he's all alone. I offered to buy him a bus ticket home, even, but he has nowhere to go there, too. He declined the offer for now, and is trying to make it here. He will be getting food stamps and SSI soon, but in the meantime, how do I cope with all of this and even live my life and still have fun? I cannot have fun knowing he is in pain and having a rough time.
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Honestly, you didn't "bring" him anywhere. He made a conscious choice. He chose to go with you. He chose to say no to your offer. Living in a homeless shelter will open doors (for assistance) that otherwise would not, so it's not as bad as it sounds. He will be back on his feet as soon as he gets the SSI and food stamps and if he so chooses, could likely find a lot of help even now. Free phones with minutes. Free health care. Free clothes. Some places help employ people who are homeless and provide free transportation to n from work. He isn't helpless even if he may make it sound that way. Once he gets a job, he will qualify for low income housing and possibly small loans or first time buyer loans for a vehicle. There are things he can do if he chooses. He will also still have access to food pantries and "clothes closets" and places that sell furniture for very low prices or even give it away. Some places give money for gas and laundry. There is help to cover utility costs. He can make it if he wants to and is willing to put in the effort to find these places and give the info they require. You should allow yourself to move on and live your life now that you are no longer in a relationship, and allow him to do the same. Doing otherwise will just hold both of you back.
*hugs*
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