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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
T today...talked some about phone call with MC and how I felt it had helped me.
Which led to me saying to her (through tears) how it's difficult and rather confusing for me when she's critical of MC. I said it's almost like "Mom" being critical of "Dad." She said how she'd referred us to MC and that she wouldn't have done that if she didn't "trust and respect him." Then I said I guessed it was partly that she was trying to look out for me and my best interests. She said that was true and that sometimes she was concerned that it could go in a loop with me being dependent, and his responding, and getting stuck in that. Then she said, "I worry about dependency and codependency issues there." Which struck me rather oddly because that implies she's potentially labeling MC as being co-dependent... I probably should have pursued that more at the time with her, because I'm wondering what she meant in regard to his side of that.
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A couple of thoughts (and if my replies to your posts bother you, let me know and i'll stop)...
I am not sure if it is co-dependency on MC part, but something seems not quite right with all of the out of session contact he provides solely for you--and most of the time it isn't about your marriage. Has any of this changed since his wife died, or do you think he's always provided this amount of extra time?
Also, in terms of your T's boundaries around emails; it seems she has pretty strict boundaries, and she probably was concerned your emails would always be lengthy and your expectation of her responses may increase, and even if she doesn't have many clients emailing her...it would still give more time to you? I don't know, but I just think she is strict about these sort of things. She has always seem to have been there for you through any sort of crisis, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA
Talked on the phone for 15 min. It felt pointless and I ended the call
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What felt pointless about it?