**sigh** I've been on a roller coaster of emotions. My mom and I were talking about the possibility of me coming to the US to surprise my family for the Christmas party they have every year. I got super excited because I haven't been to the US in over a year and to be honest there are things that I miss about it. I almost got hypomanic; I'm not used to getting excited over something so quickly and intensively.

As I was talking on the phone with my mom I was on speaker phone, and told her about hearing someone in the apartment earlier that was distinctively *in* the apartment. My mom said not everything is a hallucination, that it could be caused by any number of things, and then my wife came in and backed her up.

I try to be as objective and critical of what I experience to try and stay attached to reality and realize what is a hallucination and what is not. And I can tell that I am hallucinating less since starting Zyprexa. But getting down talked about your experiences by people that don't know what it's like is hurtful and feels invalidating. Am I overreacting? Or am I valid in what I experience?