I want to die

But

Does it matter?
Probably not

Do I care if anyone cares?
I'm used to it, so not really

Why should it matter?
Well, I suppose everyone impacts each other in some way but... would the loss of my impact make a difference? I'm not sure

Why do I stay?
Because failure of an attempt is too high a risk

What do I gain by staying?
Nothing

What would I gain by death?
Not sure - are you?

Yes, I want to die. It kills me inside that I can't ... but I know I probably won't and I know nobody probably cares one way or the other. The really sad part? Neither do I.