That analogy of the drowning man who can pull you down with him is a good one. The Coast Guard is there, but he doesn't want the professional rescue swimmers. He wants you instead. That's very selfish. Considering the selfishness of that is a good antidote to guilt.

In life, there is a price for everything. He refuses to pay. He thinks you should pay for him. He thinks, "Golden eve could pay for me. If she loved me, she would. Then, someday, I'll pay her back." The "someday" never comes. A guy like this drains others, rather than making much of an effort, himself. You should go to work. He shouldn't have to because, when he had a job, the boss didn't treat him right. Or he had a co-worker who was mean to him. Or it was just too hard to get up in the morning. Or the job was boring and didn't make him feel fulfilled. He wasn't lucky, like you, to get a great job with perfect bosses and perfect co-workers, where you feel perfectly fulfilled and you just love getting up every morning and going to this heaven of a workplace. He'ld work too, if only life hadn't cheated him and had given him the golden opportunities you've had. You see - this is how people like him think. He's got a million excuses for why he can't do what adults need to do. Maybe there's a substance abuse problem. (Usually there is.) He's got a bunch of excuses for why he can't turn that around either.

When you see that he is mainly a victim of his own immature thinking that says life should give him a special exemption from responsibility, then your guilt will start to abate. When you start to see that he would, basically, like to live as a parasite off of you - and has no guilt whatsoever about that - then you will let go of guilt that you aren't carrying him on your back.

Lots of us screw up, from time to time, and need a hand up temporarily. He's trying to say that's all he's asking for from you. But you know better. His problem is not temporary, but permanent . . . until he changes his thinking. He's got Wrong Thinking going on in his head, but he's sticking with it. He wants to stick with it and let you pay for the consequences. Ponder that and, in time, you'll feel less guilty.