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i know there are some red flags.
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everything you have written here is a red flag.
this is ANGER issues NOT just what you excuse it away to in order to minimize what he is doing? This is NOT JUST BEING "stubborn, touchy and controlling"
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he said im giving up and talked as if i had told him i dont want to see him anymore!
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this is manipulation.
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he doesnt even listen to me and always gets mad when i dont say exactly what he wants to hear
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this is just plain disrespect of you
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he even said my behavior is not normal because i always change my mind at the last minute.
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this is bullying. Everyone has the RIGHT to think better of something as time passes
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then i took the blame saying im scared. it is true but it was also a way to "make peace".....
And who else would still want me with my many issues???
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shows really low self-esteem of yourself. BTW your issues aren't harmful to others & aren't something that a caring person will be more than willing to work around.
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But i thought that since im aware of that
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you aren't even aware of what he is REALLY doing to you & you are rationalizing away his behavior with things not even close to what he is REALLY doing to you
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since im aware of that and still love/want him,
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you don't even really know him other that what he has allowed you to know or see but his behavior toward you is not like that of someone who loves you. It's more like someone that wants something FROM YOU & will manipulate you until he gets it & when what he wants out of you seems to be threatened he gets mad.
lol....lots of abused women have said the same thing.....yes, ultimately it is your choice whether a wise choice or not.
This may not be what is happening but it sure looks like it from the behaviors you describe.
Why are you so desperate to have someone that you are willing to tolerate being treated like this? It's better to work on focusing on improving your own self-esteem so that you realize you deserve to be treated & RESPECTED better than this. You aren't even together yet & he is treating you this badly.....how will he treat you when he knows he OWNS you. Will that anger become physical abuse or just increased mental abuse that you are already getting?
These are ALL things that need to be considered when red flags like this show up in a person you may be interested in getting seriously involved with.