I can totally relate to this. My own T talked about the walls I had built that did just what you describe. Took awhile to break them down. It was my intellect & emotional lacking that built them but it was (like you) my intellect & finally learning through my DBT group & experiencing IRL new ways of seeing & feeling after over 54 years of living the other way.

I still slip at times but the majority of my wall that argued & dismissed has been broken. The good thing about having that strong personality, it does come in handy when done more diplomatically (something else I learned) to hold our own when we are right.

We are never to old to learn new ways. My T explains that as we learn & practice new ways we reprogram those old dysfunctional neural pathways . It takes time, practice, & patience but the results are more than worth it.

.....first step is recognizing the problem.....good job!!!!