Hi GoodMama - thank you so much for lending your ear (eyes?) and your perspective.

The ironic part is that my brother is NOT the primary caretaker. He doesn't see my dad much more than I do -- my parents live on the east coast, my brother in the midwest, and I on the west coast. My brother and I have alternated visits each weekend to give my stepmom some relief. He is able to get here faster - his flights are 1.5 hours long while mine are 10, so consequently he typically arrives on a Friday and leaves on Monday morning without missing work, but I don't effectively get here until Saturday morning and leave on Sunday or Monday morning, sometimes having to miss 1-2 days/work because of the travel. So I guess he does get a bit more time with my dad, but not that much more than I do. My stepmom is the one who has to manage things day in and day out. My opinion is that SHE should be respected as the one in charge, by virtue of being both his wife and his primary caretaker. But once my brother arrives on the scene, he tends to shove her/us aside and take over, sometimes undoing decisions she has made without consulting her.

Actually, she isn't as upset about it as I am. She and I are going to go grocery shopping in a little while and I will ask her about it. For all I know, she may be relieved to not have to be responsible for a little while. I guess I'm just feeling protective about her since I am not as deeply involved as she is physically or my brother is emotionally.

But about me -- those emotions are running deeper. Getting out of the house for an hour may help me. I think I might go for a walk for a little while and get some exercise and clear my head. I think I had mentioned that my dad hasn't really shown that he understands that I'm expecting his first grandchild, and this morning I was sitting with him and decided to put his hand on my belly. I told him that his granddaughter was in there and although he didn't say anything, his face lit up. Unfortunately, I started crying really hard and had to leave the room to go get a tissue...

Ok, gotta log off now - feeling overwhelmed - thanks so much though, GoodMama - I appreciate your support