Quote:
Originally Posted by Lola5
I'll preface by saying I have depression, severe GAD and PTSD.
I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Within the first 10 minutes of the date, he told me he has bipolar, depression, anxiety, OCD, social anxiety and ADHD for which he takes "a bunch of medications." I got so overwhelmed by this admission, but I didn't share that I have mental illnesses.
The date was okay, but I wasn't interested. At the end, he thanked me twice for going on a date with him and said he had a nice time. I got anxious and said I did, too. He told me he wants to see me again and proposed some super-specific plans about what we should do next time. I got really, really anxious and said "okay" just so the date could end. Now, he keeps texting me several times a day about what day next week I am free.
I am having so much anxiety about this. I feel like I have to go on another date with him because I said "okay" at the end of the last date. But it's awful to string him along. I don't know how to turn him down or tell him I'm not interested. I don't want to exacerbate his mental illnesses. He mentioned several times how his life is impeded by his illnesses. I feel I have acted badly, but I don't know what to do.
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My advice here is don't feel pressured to go on another date simply because HE'S interested and because initially you wanted to just be nice. You have no obligation to him and can let him down easy. You could say, you know I realize I said yes initially, but I just don' think the chemistry is right, and I truly wish you all the best. He is acting very clingy with you right away, which is a big red flag, so I would just steer clear, which is your gut reaction. You don't owe him anything, and don't feel bad for turning him down or for looking out for your own best interests!!
HUGS!