I'm so sorry. I'm really surprised that he wouldn't allow you to come less frequently - that seems very odd to me. I have some of the same issues (crappy parents, abandonment issues, bad past Ts - obviously) - and it's all so painful. I know that it's hard to imagine working with another T, but if it comes to that at some point (i.e. maybe somebody with a sliding scale, or who can see you less frequently) - I hope you end up surprised by finding someone incredible and kind who turns out to be more of a help than the old T.