Thanks everyone for the support.

Emgreen, my addictions Dr. supports your view that I haven't lost my sober time, and says it's totally up to me if I want to say I have X days, or X months sober with one slip. I haven't made up my mind yet.

And we have SMART recovery meetings 3 times that I'm aware of here in Toronto. I may try one as it seems like a good compliment to women for sobriety.

But that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing because I'm scared.

I had an appointment with my addictions Dr. this past Thurs. and I told her the worst part of my detox was the tactile hallucinations I experienced on day 4. I told her it felt like bugs were crawling all over my skin and it felt like a million mosquitoes were biting me. She said that was the DT's - something I've never experienced before. She said if I ever relapsed again and experienced the same thing I had to go to a hospital post haste because I was at increased risk of seizure or some other life threatening complication. That blew me away. I thought only skid row drunks got the DT's. It scared me that I'd reached that place. I don't ever want to be there again.

I'm really scared now, because I'm afraid that drinking will lead to my death. I've got to stop it, even if part of me really doesn't want to let it go.

All I know is I need to stay stopped.

splitimage.