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Aug 26, 2017, 11:18 AM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,966
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It feels wrong to show affection when I am not totally certain that there is a future in the relationship.
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Totally certain? That is too severe a standard in my opinion. I do not see the current lack of total certainty as a reason to break up at once or not show affection.
I think that one's level of understanding of a person and a relationship, and commitment to her and it, can grow over time. Or not, time will tell--but where you are right now does not seem to me like a place where no affection should be shown.
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That being said, I do love her and want to try and see how the relationship goes as we try being long distance with occasional extended visits. Ultimately I am hopeful that with effort we can make the relationship work.
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That makes sense to me. It would be god to think about how you will you know whether the relationship is working or not.
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I worry about continuing that pattern of reckless commitment
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Reckless? I'm not sure. Having a close relationship, living together for a year, does not necessarily sound reckless. Maybe it was--what makes you use the word reckless? Or maybe the relationship was good at the time but just did not work out. What do you think?
What did your parents think of your previous relationship?
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but I feel irresponsible (and even manipulative) when I shower her with "i love you's". I've told her that she's 'the love of my life' before, and that comment was the first thing she mentioned was extremely misleading when I brought up my fears of commitment.
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Valid point. What do you suppose was leading you to make these statements to her, rather than stopping short of them?
Last edited by Bill3; Aug 26, 2017 at 11:44 AM.
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