Be careful what you wish for. I've noticed during many depressions and manias is while in one state I can't remember the other state, i.e. in depression I can't remember or conceive of the joys of hypomania and the dangerous surges and irritability of mania, and while manic or hypomanic I can't recall the misery of depression. The best you can hope for is stability. I hope that you can get help soon.