Quote:
Originally Posted by mugwort2
My take is many times abusers perpetuate abuse. That is they are victims of being abused themselves. IMHO we should try to prevent abusive behavior by trying our best to understand where other people are coming from. Especially the hurt they are enduring. Abuse only perpetuates abuse Let's end it by trying to understand each other. To seek kindness and understanding. I was victimized by an abusive man who lived with me. He wasn't my boyfriend. Its as they say complicated. If you want me to explain okay. I felt he was terribly hurt by previous experiences. No offense VO I think we should try to prevent further abuse. Its a viscious cycle. Abuse produces abuse. Let's try to end the cycle.
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As an abuse victim myself, I will tell you - I REALLY hate the excuse "well, my aunt/uncle/mother/father/etc abused me in the past, so it was just something I did without thinking ... I'm sorry". You know what that is? An "accepted excuse" meaning society has decided "ok, we will let this EXCUSE slide even though we know by no means is it a true REASON". Then, society at large went around reciting it enough everyone believes it. And now, more and more things a parent does to punish their child is deemed as abuse. So, as the ranges of abuse change, so to does the number of "acceptable abuse" ( meaning the poor abuser was abused in their past so this crime is only mentionable as an "inevitable result of the abuse"
Abuse victims are often looked down upon while abusers are given "free tickets for sympathy" such as this. Rape victims are made to prove they not only were raped but did not in some way "ask for it" or "encourage it". Victims of domestic abuse, if too afraid to attend court are brought up on charges and jailed while their abuser walks free.
I'm so sick of abusers being given free passes and excuses and allowed to repeat again with next to no type of punishment.
You may say, well it is what a person knows or has been taught if abused in childhood. Let me ask you this, when you grew into adulthood and got out from under your parents, did your views on things ever change? Do you truly believe an abused child doesn't ever look around and notice other parents don't treat their kids this way...and eventually figure out, it's wrong?