I was surprised too, but he explained how it didn't work with his schedule.

It hurt when he told me there are clinics and crisis lines; that he is "not the only one". Actually, the clinics are for people with serious mental health conditions or people who are not employed. He specializes in trauma-how could he not be concerned how separating from him abruptly would affect me? I have huge attachment difficulties, and our relationship was the focus of therapy.

It's certainly a time of grieving. I may have to hang out here for support. Although I wish I could get my mind off him and therapy altogether. I gave him too much power and told him so at our last session. I told him I should have never let myself be so dependent on him; that it was a mistake.

He was an anchor, now I'm floating away into nothingness, oscillating back and forth from nothingness to hurt. Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt. I am hurting.