So I've been searching for a topic like this. I was sexually abused until age 12 and now 30+years later I find myself fantasizing about what happened and how incredibly hot I get when 'reliving ' it. After masturbating to these fantasies I feel a great deal of shame. But I'm so horny all the time and it keeps entering my mind. I read stories online about fathers touching their daughters especially while they're sleeping or masturbating on them. None of this seems normal to me and idk why it's happening after over 30 years later. I can't get turned on unless I think about it. I just want to touch my clit til I cum. I don't enjoy sex with my husband. Just playing with myself. Why? Someone help please!