My psychiatrist of 2 1/2 years said to me yesterday that he doesn't know if he can do anything else for me. I'm am super-sensitive to meds (have tried and failed with so many) and I have been undergoing ECT with him since February (maintenance treatments these past four months). This is also following two different medication trials over the past seven weeks- the last a TCA I used to be able to tolerate but this time made me wicked tweaked out and like I was on some really bad speed.
He said he doesn't see a clear picture of recovery and what works for me. He said it may be time to have another set of eyes take a look, I.e. Another psychiatrist. I said even if i wanted to get a second set of eyes, psychiatrists are so scarce how would I even get into see one? ( there are people I know who have been on waiting lists for 9+ months to see a psychiatrist)

Then he said about a referral for CSP services, and I can have coordinated care and counseling services and access to DBT groups, etc. not really addressing the question about finding a new doctor.
this discussion took place just before I was put out for my ECT. He mentioned it to my mother as well, and she asked " would she still be able to see you?" He said "it's possible."

This made me feel like real s?!$.
I said to him that I was in a much better place now than 9 months ago-I bottomed out with my BP depression and we began then ECT. Took awhile but it saved my life. I've told him this before.
He has said there usually is more consistency with the maintenance treatments.
I get that a lot "usually " statements. I have a complex mental illness profile, so I "usually " don't fit into the "usual".
This dr. Is considered to be too notch in psychiatry around here and I don't want to start with a new doctor or new counselor. **

I don't know what I am really looking for here. Any support would be welcome. I fear being passed off and having to start over with a new doctor. And my ECTS- not a lot of people qualified to perform them. He is one of very few where I live and they saved my life I do not want to give them up.
It's just, I feel so hopeless about everything now. What am I going to do?!
The uncertainty of everything is really killing me to.


**I just began with my current therapist five weeks ago- had to change because my previous therapist was not helpful and I didn't feel he had my best interests in mind at all; before that my insurance changed and I had to stop seeing a wonderful therapist, before that another therapist that wasn't fit to help with what I deal with , and then a therapist was fired and then another before that got a new job and before that it was yet another insurance issue. I've been through so many, my doctor has even said I need consistency in this respect. And my new therapist is intelligent, has experience with my illnesses and I can tell she genuinely cares. END OF RANT just really upsets me