@kecanoe thanks for the insight I see a lot of my issues in your response. I guess my problem is that I am not concerned about my SI issues although my therapist is very concerned. So that would not be a reason for me to continue therapy. I also want to get off my meds as soon as possible hopefully within 6 months. I guess I just don't like the need to need other people or to need others help which is why I question my staying in therapy so long. Personally I don't feel like I've made any progress because since I've started more new crap keeps falling out of the woodwork every time I turn around although my therapist talks about how much I am improving and getting better and that's why my alters are sharing their memories now and he says I'm starting to get more comfortable with my feelings and emotions although it doesn't feel that way to me either. I asked my therapist a couple months ago his opinion on how long it would take to make me half way normal again provided no new skeletons fell out of the closet he said at that point no more than 5 years however he knows there's going to be more skeletons that fall out of the closet. I knew the answer to that before I asked but I just wanted to hear it from him. So I'm looking at a minimum of five years. I know that if I continue my life will be better but I I guess I just want to get on with my life instead of constantly working and thinking about therapy and past abuse issues. I don't know I'm just so confused it's a struggle.