(((Blue)))

I'm sorry you're feeling so so so bad

I recognize that this might sound weird but something that helped me re-frame my childhood experience (in which I felt guilty about stuff that was, in retrospect, clearly not my fault) was learning about Family Systems Therapy. I don't know enough about it to give a good summary here, but it has to do with, like... for example, my mom needed someone to take care of (because she's making up for the fact that she didn't get taken care of enough in *her* childhood), and I unconsciously recognized that so I became ill and dependent on her. Or like my parents needed someone to blame for their marital woes so I recognized that unconsciously and became "a problem child." I dunno; I'm not explaining it in any kind of way that makes sense, but it's worth a Google. (I learned about it by reading a book called "The Process of Change," which gives a lot of real-life examples of this kind of therapy. I think the particular therapy that they talk about in this book is really weird, but the theory they use is interesting.)

Other potential Google search terms might be "projection" or "displacement?"

If nothing else, know you're not alone in having guilt about things that you intellectually understand you did not cause.