I think because of my attachment issues, the fact that ex-t and I had our boundaries blurred, etc. and she had already said we'd be friends if I wasn't her client, it nearly gave me false hope.

The context in which that conversation went down was:

Me: I can't tell my mom that I'm attached to you. She wouldn't be happy knowing that I feel an emotional connection to my therapist. I think she'd get jealous that I feel close to you.

Ex-t: Oh, you can't tell her about us? Can you tell anyone about us?

"Us" in this sense made me queasy. I knew my feelings couldn't be reciprocated and didn't want false hope. I would have preferred her making the distinction that I did, "You can't tell your mother that you feel close to me as your therapist?" She was well aware of my issues and that I need that boundary, but they were so dang blurred by that point...when we hit a rupture, she took the friendly commentary back and became much more clinical.

Her: I'm not your friend. That isn't our relationship. You didn't meet the version of me that you'd meet at a restaurant.

So, it was okay when she and I were getting along, but voice an opinion and she pulled out those boundaries- which she herself made fuzzy- hardcore. I felt confused.