Sometimes I have these sudden outbursts of anger. When this happens I would yell, throw things and even lash out at family members if they tried to get close to me. During these incidents my older sister would mock me by calling me demon possessed. Most times after these incidents I can't even understand why I was so angry in the first place. Other times I would just randomly burst into tears. when things like this happen I just worry about the safety of myself and those around me as during these outbursts I often make bad decisions. This paired with the fact that I often have suicidal thoughts makes me very worried.
I really want to seek help, but to do that I'd have to tell my mother. I know for a fact that my mother would never understand. In fact I know that she would be very angry with me. Mostly these outbursts only occur when all of my problems suddenly dawn on me at once. When this happens I just get so fed up. I just don't know what to do at this point. I feel so hopeless. Can someone please tell me what to do.