Weird session with current T tonight.

It was going mostly okay until we neared the end.

I told her about my going on a road trip to CA and she had some weird responses.

First, she jokingly said it's possible that she's having some maternal counter-transference but she's worried about my doing it.

I thought she was mostly joking and so, didn't take her seriously -- I just said that's sweet and moved on.

She then asked what am I fleeing from and I was like "Really, lady, is there any one specific thing?".

Then I think time was up and as she took out her receipt book, she said that she was wondering if I was trying to make her worry about me or have anxiety about me because my parents hadn't cared about me? And, given how worried I am about my Mom's health, she wondered if I was trying to shift that anxiety on to her by making her worry about me?

I told her then that I didn't really think she'd get worried (I really hadn't) because I thought road trips were quintessentially American (I quoted Jack Kerouac) -- it's honestly, one of the things that I absolutely love about the US (the highway system). She said it's not normal for a single woman to go across the country by herself and that she'd really worry about my physical safety.

End result -- I'm touched (that she could be worried about me and that too too to this extent rather than a generic "Take care" kinda thing) and super pissed that she could lay it all on me and somehow blame me for her feelings (blame is a strong word but for lack of a better one).