I think I just need to get these thoughts down on paper, so to speak.

I was about to go to bed just now, but I found a notebook in my closet from 2002, when I was in college. I looked through it, and was taken aback by how incredibly happy I was back then.

I mean, I've always been aware that things got complicated for my mental health after some incidents in 2008, but I guess I sort of forgot that I used to be completely content, at peace, and satisfied with my life in the early 00's. I dealt with general anxiety as a kid and teenager, but for 4 glorious years after high school, things were absolutely perfect. I know a lot of people feel like these are the best years of their lives, so I'm not exactly alone in this feeling. But reading through my thoughts from September 2002, and comparing them to the thoughts I have now, makes me feel like I don't even know that person. He is completely alien to me.

I've made a lot of progress accepting things as they are, and managing my anxiety and depression. I don't usually dwell on the past much. But, at this moment, I can't help mourning the life I feel like I lost.

Maybe I just need a good night's sleep. Thanks for listening.