I guess I will try to talk to my pdoc as everyone suggests but it is hard because it's always been such a secret and I feel like a freak. But it is overpowering and I need to find out why it happens and what it is. But it is soooooo hard. I can't even say chest or heart out loud. This post was like a practice run to see if I could do it. Speaking it out loud in person is much more risky and vulnerable but I'll try. Thanks everyone.