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Yes! I understand! I masturbate constantly and think about shameful things to. it's the only way I get excited. I too keep getting into more and more taboo things. I feel so guilty after n try so hard not to do it again. but fail every time. I horny now and trying not to look online. But the release makes me feel better for a brief period of time. I also cannot get turned on unless I fantasize and touch my clit. I feel horrible after but don't know how to stop. It's treading on dangerous ground I believe. How long bf I act on my fantasies?
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