Types of schizophrenia are so hard to distinguish from each other. They're not all the same, but I have "symptoms" from both schizotypal and schizoid personality disorder(s). I don't trust people very much and I don't see a need to be part of a family with people, or be in a relationship. I feel like those don't exist or at least from what I've seen. Some people not everyone are so manipulative of each other. I've been manipulated from school and in public I don't know who to trust anymore. Its not strange (don't judge) but I am very friendly with animals and nature. I know some animals can be very smart and can still manipulate, but at least I know its just a part of animal's personality. People I've seen have adapted to it to undermine others, and its so annoying to see. I have a very monotone voice and mind as well, but only because my emotions are constantly changing. Sometimes am filled with rage and hate, others am overjoyed in happiness. So to attempt to make everything balanced I "shut off" most of my emotions, simply because I could not control them. It also doesn't help that am very very very shy towards people, so even if am angry and in pain I usually don't let people see it, which results in me shutting off to the outside world. But that <-- is a whole other problem entirely. I've tried drawing what I see and writing a couple of times, but it caused me to severely relapse into a psychotic episode. So I stopped for awhile, but eventually I needed some way to release my anger and pain, so I started again and I relapsed... again. But instead of letting it take its course and further my lost of reality. I decided that I'd ignore it, that meant ignoring voices and ignoring whatever I'd vividly dream about. It helped for awhile, but the voices became very angry that I was ignoring them.

Oh no, sorry its so long. I just felt like typing instead of writing this time.