I didnt know schizotypal and schizoid are types of schizophrenia. My official diagnosis is schizophrenia but it seems more my main problem is schizoaffective disorder.

Totally understand the part about being secretive about emotional and other states. Those things set loose usually spell trouble. And there are so many other reasons. Living out the manic episodes usually ends in shame and regret. Telling some others and strangers about illness usually leads to misunderstanding or ridicule. Also anxiety makes hell of prolonged company and focus. Also being all calm on the outside becomes like a personality and I stay true to it...

I found this today:
https://www.sciencealert.com/the-con...end-here-s-why